Relinquish the control you think you have over everything that happens in your life. It's like trying to steer a train, no matter how hard you try, you will follow the track set in front of you. Every once in a while you have the opportunity to change course but you can't fight the track mile after mile, you'll end up tired, frustrated and ultimately on the same path you were.
We were born with the innate power of choice, the ability to decide what path to take - these are the railroad switches that allow our train to change course. Though most of the time our train is traveling down long stretches of straight, predetermined track - these miles of straight-away are all of the tiny events that take place in our daily lives that we don't have control over; personal encounters, stubbing your toe on the sidewalk, others' opinions, actions and choices, the weather, the power of authority, to name a few.
So when we are constantly fighting against the things that we have no power over, the only thing guaranteed to happen is that we will exhaust ourselves to the point where we are unable to make appropriate choices when the opportunity does arise. Those long straight-aways taught us that not everything goes the way we want, and so when we have the opportunity to change course or control an outcome, we often act intensely out of lack, deprivation and bitterness.
Don't let your inability to control the railroad run you off the track entirely when you encounter a railroad switch.
If we instead treat the train ride as an opportunity to observe our surroundings, learn from our environment and consider a path we would rather take we will not only be more informed about our situation but better prepared to make an appropriate decision when we finally encounter a railroad switch.
I want to share with you a little story about how I found coaching, how many trials and errors I went through to get there and how I had to accept that I was not going to fit into the mold of what society was expecting of me.
How to go from naive highschool graduate to slightly more educated coach with a passion, a purpose and a process to boot. It went a little something like this:
You too can find your passion in just 20 easy steps and 24 payments of tears, sweat and failure!
No but really, figuring out your path can be a royal pain. It takes time, it takes patience and it takes a willingness to accept failure and keep going in spite of it. When I was 18 I didn't know what I was doing, I just knew that when you graduate high school you follow that by going to college. I remember going to freshman orientation the summer leading up to my first college semester, we were put into groups and walked around campus like a bunch of 5 year olds at the zoo - I'm surprised we didn't have to all hold hands. After getting the campus tour we had some official business to take care of, registering for classes and such. They file us into one of the computer labs, show us the system and we begin to pick classes based on our declared major, which was listed on a sheet of paper they had given us earlier in the day. I remember thinking, when did I declare my major? How did I pick this? I guess it sounds cool though, so that's fine. I had no memory of declaring my college major - the thing that was basically meant to dictate how I spent the next 4 years and the rest of my life, really. How does that happen?
The system by which most of society operates doesn't allow for much divergence. There is a path.. that everyone follows.. and it's easy to control, predict and maintain. It doesn't require much thinking or effort because it's just the way it is. So when young, unsuspecting humans come of age to join this system, we walk them through the steps...get good grades, dress this way, act professional and you'll get into that school, or you'll get that job or you'll achieve some superficial status. When we raise our children to think that inside-the-box is the only way to be "successful" we are dampening the potential of their personal power and the gifts they have to share with the world - with the very society that is trying to hide them.
My mission is break the mold. To step outside of what's expected of us, do more, be different, question archaic ways of thinking and don't be afraid to leap into something that really lights us up. I am here to be of service to myself in following what I'm passionate about and I'm here to be of service to those who are also looking to do the same. When we find what we are passionate about, whether it be inside-the-box or out, and we share it in a purposeful way, that is when we have found our freedom.
It's taken a long time for me to embrace this idea and to be honest, I'm still working on it. So much of the time when we are unable to make something happen it's fear that is holding us back, though it's not always easy to recognize. Fear is a master of disguise and quite charming once you've pulled off it's mask. Fear can make us think that we are avoiding danger, preventing pain (either ours or someone else's) and will have a laundry list of reasons why we shouldn't do that thing we've been thinking about.
The interesting thing about fear is how...non-existent it is. I mean, really, think about it. The only place that fear exists is in your head. So why does it have so much power over us? There is nothing in the physical world that fear has control over, except of course how we react to it. Actions based out of fear - in the context I am speaking, anyway - are equivalent to in-action. This in-action only fuels the fear, fuels the resistance and the prevents us from moving forward in a positive direction.
So than, it seems fairly obvious to say that the cure to fear, is action. Taking action in spite of what scares us. Taking action and proving the fear wrong, there was no danger, I'm still alive and whether or not the thing I was aiming for worked out, I didn't die and may have learned something in the process.
So the next time you want to launch that business, put yourself out there, shift your way of life but fear is holding you back, ask yourself What danger am I really in? If the answer isn't legitimately life-threatening, take action . The only way you are going to find the answer to Is this going to work? is to try it.
Take a moment and comment below, what is fear preventing you from achieving?